My anxiety and depression

I'd like to say being  the lovable happy me you all get to enjoy comes naturally, but unfortunately this is not how it is. For a big part of my adult life I had been a hot mess of anxiety accompanied by the lowest of low self esteem.   What DID come naturally was self doubt, insecurity and shame for feeling the way I did while others around me seemed to have it all together.

For many years I self medicated with alcohol and men.  The alcohol numbed the bad feelings and allowed me to be more free with myself without worrying what others thought of me.   The men gave me (momentary) confidence in myself.  I allowed myself to be used in order to get the temporary feeling of being accepted.  

Then I met my husband.  Nineteen years later and I am still amazed how my life changed simply by having circumstances surrounding my life change.  Don't get me wrong, the beginning had some difficult times, but then we settled into life together and I am blessed for it.   Besides my mom, I had someone in my life who believed in me.    Greg helped to build confidence in myself which helped push the anxiety and depression down.   

But....it is not gone, it is always down there waiting for the opportunity to come out and play.   
* Comparing myself to others
* Knowing others are doing things together and not being invited
* Falling behind on commitments 
* Not knowing what is going on
* Stress related to work
These are just a few of the situations that are likely to set me off.   In order to deal with it all I used to take an over the counter medication to take the edge off.  It pretty much worked, but I was also putting a lot of chemicals into my body which was doing its own kind of harm.

For the sake of shortening this post, let's jump ahead to the research I did and learned that I'm not a crazy hot mess, what I had was a nasty dirty gut.  Once I found a good probiotic that accomplished what I needed it to do, my emotional health soared!!   My immunity is improved, my serotonin is able run free with its friend dopamine, and my digestion is incredible!

http://d2xz00m0afizja.cloudfront.net/cdn/shareables/vitalbiome-product-info-sheet.pdf

If you are like I was and tired of living a life determined by your anxiety or depressed moods, do some research on your own.  You DON'T have to live this way!  I can tell you from personal experience there is so much more.